Things that make you go 'ew' or I have a horrible vocabulary.

Hello! This is Becky, guest blogger for Erin today. This whole 'guest blogger' thing is really building her ego, don't you think?

Speaking of ego building, sort of: http://www.cafepress.com/bluegreenred/980159.

Those of you who know me (and if you don’t know me, why not? I have facebook!) might think of me as a random person. I say things that normal people shouldn’t. But surprisingly enough, I favor consistency.
I take lunch around the same time every day. I like to take showers at regular intervals (every other morning-don’t judge!). I call certain people at certain times (i.e. friends with jobs before 10 pm, family members while I’m walking to/from places, friends in school whenever the hell I want to because they’re still in school and can take a nap if I really tire them out) and pretty much go to Target every three weeks (like clock-work).Don’t get me wrong, I hate repeating outfits and when I had long hair I tried to style it differently every day. Sometimes I wore barrettes, or ponytails, or headbands, or down, or pulled back with a little poofy-guy in front. But I stayed away from back-to-back ponytails, or three days-in-a-row of the poofy-guys. No one needs that many poofs or ponies in their lives. Is the plural of pony-tail ponies-tails?
Even now at work, I cringe when I had to repeat outfits. For the first month that I worked at JNF I tried to wear 20 completely different outfits. Except for shoes because I don't have that many pairs of shoes. I've given up on that dream now.

So, I have these two opposing ideas in my life: routine and randomness. I like routine, and I like to be comfortable. I like to watch ‘Heroes’ on Monday nights, and I liked to get 7+ hours of sleep every night. But, I get bored easily (go figure) so I like to keep things fresh (see above). I can’t eat the same thing for lunch every day, and I like to spend my weekends doing different things. A good example of this opposition lies in my movie-watching habits. I have a bad memory, so in order to really (anything keeping count of how many times I'm using that word?) remember a movie I need to watch it 2 or 3 times, at least. But, I get bored re-watching movies...


That doesn't even make sense and yet it's the world I live in!
A BIG area where I fail in my quest to ‘keep it fresh’ is my vocabulary. I think I only know, like, 100 words. And I use them over and over again. If something is good then it’s good, or really good, or great. A new person is cool, weird, awkward, pretty, funny, or really cool, really weird, really awkward…you get the point, don’t you? Sometimes, if I’m feeling very adventurous, I’ll spice up my speech with ‘awesome’. I’ll put a dash of ‘soooooo’ or toss in a sprinkle of ‘therefore’ or ‘obviously’. But I don't think that's enough variety. But what am I supposed to do? Carry a thesaurus with me everywhere I go? Carrying and walking are hard for me, so that's a 'NO' to that question.

And, I’ve even subscribed to Merriam-Webster’s word-a-day in the hopes that the internets can help me reform my simple ways. Maybe instead of being happy I should be jubilant? Or instead of saying ‘that shit’s crazy’ I should say ‘that shit’s folderol’ (that was my word-of-the-day today. And incase you don’t know it means ‘nonsense’). I'm determined not to let my simple-mind get the best of me!
I can improve my vocabulary, and make my world brighter, if I’m conscious about it!

Unfortunately, that's only half the battle. What about the words I say over and over again (like ‘over’ or 'like'), that I can’t control? What about the phrase ‘actually’ that I use before a lot of my anecdotes? I can’t control ‘actually’-it just happens! Or what about ‘loves’? The valley girl expression used to indicate that I really (see? Really’s here again) like something? If I 'loves' something I'm usually excited about it and don't realize I'm saying it. I'm not thinking clearly!

Or what about ‘ew’? I saw ‘ew’ all the time. It’s gotten to be a thing of mine, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t say 'ew', like normal people, when there are big monsters under my bed or bugs attacking me.


I don’t scream ‘ew’ if a homeless person pees on me (I mean, I would…but whatever), or if I find a toe with a green nail on it in the afternoon post (‘The Big Lebowski’ anyone?).

I scream ‘ew’ when: I’m surprised. Or I don’t like the weather outside (too hot, too cold, humid, rain, snow, mist, sleet, windy, lightning).
Or if my hair’s messed up.

Or if I don’t like what I’m eating. Or if someone says a gross joke. Or if I say a gross joke and surprise myself (sometimes I like to surprise myself…..BOO!). Or if someone relates an anecdote about a person that bothers me (like: He said he didn’t want to go out with me again because he had to go home and do laundry-ew!). Or if I take a shot of: vodka, rum, gin, tequila, absinthe etc. and it’s too strong.

Or, if the subway’s taking too long, or the bus for that matter. Or to bother ERIN. It's kind of silly, really.
If I'm going to have a 'thing' shouldn't it be wearing sunglasses inside? Or, sporting a white hermes scarf like Miranda Priestley in 'The Devil Wears Prada', or saying 'HEYYYYY' like The Fonz? I don't want 'ew' to be my bag, you know?

Also, I might say ‘or’ too much. Or ‘also’. Or ‘so’.

Did I conclude anything here? I know I asked too many questions so in that arena: mission accomplished. Well, Erin never concludes anything either (zing!) soooo peace out.