dear gloria,
wow, i thought maybe you'd get the hint. i mean, we've been going through this for over a year now, and i keep putting you off. i thought eventually you would realize that i'm not interested, that, in fact "out of the country" is just an excuse to not have to come in and see you.
you're really persistent, and i appreciate that, i do. but, the thing is, we're just so different. you're a signature in black ink telling me to do things i don't want to do, and i'm a person with a job who doesn't have time to go to jamaica to tell you this in person.
i know you really want to see me. frankly, though, i'm very popular, and a lot of people want to see me. this bullying technique you've got going on, running up to big brother and tattling is beneath you.
i know we've had some good times. you've been after me since i moved to this fair borough of queens. and it's not that i don't want to help you out, i do. it's just....the timing is all wrong. i hope you understand. i mean, really, though, i'm no good for you. i'm some sort of racially, age, and gender ambiguous ten-twenty-or possibly forty-something, and i'd just confuse you in the end.
but, you seem intent on making me dump you to your face. i wish it didn't have to come to this, but....well, you leave me no choice, ms. d'amico.
things could've been so different....
