My Little Erin

Hello, my name is Jayanna. I have known Erin since we were just little Jews together in Sunday school. In other words, since she was REALLY evil. You think not sharing her ice cream is bad? You don't know bad. Erin has only become less ruthless as she's aged. Let me share just one example of her rotten reign. I'm sure everyone of a certain generation remembers My Little Pony. These little things were like crack to me for years. I mean, ponies cast in bright colors often with sweet tiny tattoos on their rumps? Where do I sign up? If you don't remember, here are some examples. There were fuzzy ponies, which always ended up with shiny bald spots where I would wear away the wonderful pony fuzz.
There were unicorn ponies that hurt like a little pony bitch when hurled through the air by an angry sibling. These often ended up with their horns chewed up by Javan, my older brother who to this day always has something in his mouth that probably shouldn't be.

There were Jewel eyed ponies. I loved these the best perhaps foreshadowing my later life when I would pour over the Tiffany web site for hours.
There were even seahorse ponies for bathtime fun.
There were male ponies, evidenced by the super sexy hair on their fetlocks. I never had these. My ponies were more of the lesbian commune type.
But the BEST pony was one I dubbed Lollipop. I was an extremely inventive child. She was so beautiful that she merits TWO pictures. Just look at her. She's amazing.















Specifically, note her glorious tail. Hours I'd spend brushing that tail...until it mysteriously disappeared. I never knew what had happened to it but always assumed it had been my own fault. I rued its loss for a long time. Years later, like high school maybe, Erin and I were discussing My (beloved) Little Ponies. She casually said "Remember that time I got mad at you and TORE THE TAIL OUT OF YOUR MY LITTLE PONY?" AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! So that's what happened! I'd known for years how awful she could be, but to tear the tail from Lollipop's beautiful blue butt? What kind of monster does that?
Okay, I have to go take a shower now. I think Erin assigned me Christmas Eve to blog because I'm a Jew, but I am at the beck and call of Randy (a whole other kind of evil) and have a million things to do. I'll collect more stories and report back.