My New Boots or Why I Didn't Do My Job Today

i'm at the bottom of the non-profit ladder here, and because of that, everyone gives me the things that they don't want to do. i know that they all have time to do said things, but instead, they all play scrabulous on facebook. how do i know? i play it too. in fact, this blog is supposed to wean me off of my facebook addiction. i'm like a junkie, i can't stop with the thing!

anyway, one of my many superiors has asked me to make about a cajillion phone calls to different organizations and harrass them into signing up for a program. this wouldn't be so bad if i knew ANYTHING about the program. but i don't. the phone calls go something like this:

me: hello, my i please speak to your educational programmer?

them: (suspiciously) who is this?

me: um, er, erin?


at this point, the dialogue goes one of two ways. either they immediatly decide that i am a telemarketer and transfer me to voicemail, or, miraculously, i get through to someone. the former is better, because if the latter happens, i have NO IDEA what to say to these people. they want information about the program. in case you missed it before, i have NO information.


rather than do that, i decided to go to the park and hula hoop. this activity required MY NEW BOOTS! my new boots require a special color and font because they are awesome.


before i get to "the point," which is a term i, of course, use lightly, i want to talk a little more about MY NEW BOOTS! i have been wanting rain boots for quite some time now. they are awesome looking and i suppose they are functional as well. i mean, if it rains. anyway, i wanted boots, but i was not willing to pay more than $20 for them. how could i justify it? they're rubber, and, really, if i can buy them for that cheap at target.com, then i'm not spending more. the only thing is, target.com never has any that i like in stock. plus, they get reviews that their boots smell bad.


i digress. MY NEW BOOTS! were supposed to be a gift from someone, but i won't name names

but, long story short(ish), i looked high and low for acceptable boots within my self-given price range, but what i found were MY NEW BOOTS! these were NOT twenty bucks. and lest you think i got some deal on them and got them for less than twenty, let me quickly assuage those thoughts. these were more. much more. and therefore my jewish guilt, which is always popping up at the wrong times, would not let me let play doh boy buy them for me. in fact, i wasn't even going to buy them for myself, but when i started dreaming about them, i gave in. hardcore. this isn't the point! the point is that without MY NEW BOOTS! i wouldn't be able to hula hoop in the park on rainyish days, and everyone knows that:

equals me having a much needed break (from my strenuous day of playing scrabulous and not making phone calls that i'm supposed to make). yesterday, this plan worked swimmingly (hoopingly??). but TODAY the worst thing happened. i trudged my way to the park, happily swinging my hoop along the way. smiling to strangers and anticipating the good times to be had. well, when i got to the park, there was a baby in MY spot.

now, i know some of you think i'm selfish. i recognize that talking about my inability to share my ice cream doesn't help my cause. and you might think that a cute little baby should be able to hang out in the middle of a field regardless of if a grown woman wants to hula-hoop. but i don't act like a grown woman, and it was MY spot. MINE! and the baby was probably rabid. it looked like this:

anyway, the point is that tragedy struck and i had to slightly shift my locale. it really threw me off. my hooping wasn't nearly as zen as i'd hoped. and because of that baby, i simply couldn't make those phone calls that i had SO been looking forward to making all day because of emotional distress.

so if michelle (in yellow below) asks, blame it on the baby