I Can See Clearly Now or My Nose is Cold

it was my understanding that after the winter solstice, the sun is supposed to be out for more of the day. for those of you who can't remember, this is what the sun looks like:

see how happy she is? she just wants to come out and love us all, but NOOOO. mean man winter has to kick her ass with cloud coverage and early sunsets:and so i'm left in a downward spiral of depression and very few chocolates around to ease my pain. alas, what is one to do? if only there were a puppy to kick in the face.

and to top it all off, when i went to hula hoop today, the grass was closed at central park. how is the grass closed? it's a park! but this is the sign that was up:


needless to say, i was upset. it didn't help that the squirrels were laughing at me. stupid squirrels. anyway, i was forced to hula hoop on the mulch beside a tree near the sidewalk.

i looked like a crazy person.

and this is why we need to force our presidential candidates to actually get to the meat of the matter. we shouldn't be dallying with issues like "war" and "health care"--nay! we need to know where the candidates stand on such hot topic issues as where the hell am i supposed to hula hoop in the winter? what was the point of getting the fur-lined boots if i can't use them on the grass?! that is why i encourage you, my fellow americans, not to choose a candidate based on trivialities such as what s/he might do for you, rather pick the candidate that will free the grass and enable me to meditate on my lunch hour.


please. don't let the squirrels win.