so.
first i thought i'd tell you all the tragedy of how i'm dying. but i thought that would bring you too much joy:
then mara fowarded me an email that she wrote to kristen and helen eons ago, and it reminded me that i used to write funny emails, too. i was then going to dedicate a whole blog to reposting old emails that a lot of you already had to suffer through once. i mean, really, my mass emails were like a prelude to my blog. i decided agin it. (although if you missed them the first time around, i'm happy to send them your way.)
mara's email also reminded me of how funny SHE is, but then i couldn't printscreen the email to show you all, and i gave up on communicating that, as well.
and then, somehow, i got to thinking about the different animals i've been compared to in my life. thus i bring you:
ERIN'S BLOG ABOUT ANIMALS SHE'S BEEN COMPARED TO IN HER LIFE
my first animal comparison memory was being compared to cera from the land before time. interesting fact about this (interesting being the nicest word for no one really cares) is that while i was first compared to cera when the land before time (or tlbt as we hipsters like to call it) when the movie first came out. i was later compared to her when i went to college. specialady kt also saw the resemblance:
some might argue that cera doesn't count, considering she's
a. a cartoon
and
b. a dinosaur (as a kansan i don't believe in evolution and/or dinosaurs)
making her doubly fictitious. don't you worry, though, i have a whole long list of other animals that i've been compared to:
cats (affectionate when i want to be, bitey when i don't):
dogs (although some just say bitch, but i'm sure they meant the loveable, fluffly kind of dog....):
chipmunks:
ferrets (for my desire, nay NEED to get into small spaces and break things. also the smell):
and just today i was compared to a koala:
a hedgehog:
and a unicorn (thanks, sean!):
what does this say about me? the same thing all of the colors mixed together says....BROWN.
3 comments:
thank god for your employer's archives. otherwise it would be much more difficult to prove i did NOT compare you to a unicorn. everyone knows a unicorn's hair is actually able to withstand humidity. what follows is the conversation in which the alleged unicorn comparison took place...
Erin: what animal do i remind you of?
me: well, i would say a cat b/c you like to curl up in warm laundry...but (1) who doesn't and (2) your sister will say cat so...
Erin: i mean look like
me: oh. got it
well, your cheeks are sort of reminiscent of a gerbil
Erin: um...thanks.
me: a cute gerbil, though
or maybe a chipmunk.
Erin: we're done here
me: oh. chipmunks are cute too
who doesn't like chipmunks?
Erin: i will murder you in your sleep
me: also, its difficult to ask a question like 'what animal do i look like?' and expect a flattering answer
i mean, maybe if you looked like a unicorn that would be one thing
Erin: you think i look like a unicorn? thank you! that's so sweet
me: um. oh, this is awkward
Erin: i have to go prance about now
me: i think you may have misunderstood
Erin: that's what we unicorns do...
me: i said if. IF!
Erin: and brush my unicorny locks
me: oh. what have i done?
Erin: and fight the red bull
which has a whole new meaning now, doesn't it?
me: ha. yes, i suppose it does
so now not only are you a unicorn but you've proclaimed yourself to be the last unicorn?
Erin: well, i am very rare, don't you know
So there you have it. If you count that last part, Erin and unicorns MAY have one thing in common in that they're both rare. So she MAYBE has a tenuous similarity to a fictional, cartoon unicorn on ONE level. MAYBE.
Anything I could have possibly said in my comment is going to pale in comparison to Sean's epic explanation of why he called Erin a unicorn.
never mind then...
And I referred to you as 'Erin' in my comment instead of as 'you'.
awkward!
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