My Head Hurts or Me Duele en mi Cabeza

my head is really mad at me right now, and i can't figure out why. likely it's because i've had too much sugar:

or not enough sugar:

but either way, i'm in pain here. the good news is that whoever sat here prior to me left some things on the desk. namely, a little container that's holding some paperclips, what appears to be some sort of mouse connector, a pencil topper, pepper, a sucking candy, salt, and a couple of packets of pills. unfortunately, they appear to be decongestants, but they all do the same thing, right? i mean, i'm just looking to mask the pain, i don't have to actually cure anything. let's not reinvent the wheel here....


but the thing is, i'm just not sure that a decongestant is going to actually cure a headache. while i like to believe that any pill will do what i want it to do, i have some very convincing evidence that they are not, in fact, interchangeable:



anyway, i think i'm going to give it a shot.

i'll let you know if i end up pregnant.

The Love Letter

dear sugar,

i woke up this morning with a buzzing in my head. coming into consciousness, i felt i was missing something, and i wanted desperately to hold onto it, but i couldn't quite recall what it was.

it was you.

i miss you. i miss you like an amputee misses her leg (assuming that's the appendage she no longer has). i miss waking up and having you there, the way you were always waiting with a smile. you always called. you always wanted to hang out, and you never stood me up. not once.

and i know that this is my fault, that i'm the one who drove you away. i insisted upon it, even. you wanted to stay. you said you would never leave me, and you meant it. but i was stubborn. i turned my back on you, and now my head aches and my body yearns for your sweet, sweet goodness.

i see you everywhere i turn. when i open my fridge, you are there. walking down the street, you are there. i see your sticky goodness coating the lips of children everywhere i go, and i long for the half-crazed frenzied look in their eyes.

i remember those highs so well....

the thing is, i miss you. i know, i know, i let you go. and it's only been three days (three days!), but i still remember the way life looked when you were around. now, the colors are duller. people are duller. my life feels...empty.

i wish i could have you back. i want to open my arms and ask you to jump into them. i want to let myself be human and ask you to return to me. but....

i can't.

there's too much at stake. so, i have to be strong, sugar. i have to say no to all of the sweetness and happiness you bring me. i have to accept this terrible headache that has been persisting over the past few days.

i will still smell you on the wind, and when i do, i will close my eyes, inhale deeply, and think:

cinnabon
haagen dasz
that fake maple syrup which is actually made from corn syrup
chocolate in all of its magnificent forms

i will remember you. please, please don't forget me....


love always,
erin

PDB's 24th Birthday or The Wager

so, today matthew turned 24. in honor of this occasion, mara, barret, chris and i took him out to this psychotic little indian place. no joke, there were four right next to each, two up and two down. bear and i accidentally got dragged into the wrong one, and we almost had to eat there despite the fact that mara and chris were actually waiting a different one.


conversation:

the strange little man: come in, sit down!

us: oh, we're meeting people. *looking around*

tslm: yes, yes, come in.

us: are they here?

tslm: no, you're the first.

us: (having already spoken to mara about how she's there) um.... *glancing at each other*

tslm: where are you going?

us: we, uh, er *bolting for the door*

so then we arrive upstairs and find mara and chris. now, barret describes this restaurant as being a kitten inside a box of fireworks with javan (psychotic older brother of jayanna) standing outside with a match. the restaurant describes it as "where chili pepper lights meets (sic) christmas tree lights". you be the judge:



anyway, after almost having a seizure and/or stroke at the restaurant, pdb eventually arrives and we regale him with birthday love and alcohol (also of the birthday variety). after dinner, we somehow decided that it would be a good idea to make a little wager. let's blame mara, because i think it was her doing.

so, this is how it goes: wouldn't it be interesting for us to each give something up for the month of march? we'll call it march madness, and we'll go a month without said vice. yeah, ha, ha, that'll be fun. these are the things we are giving up:

pdb- shopping and all that incurs. he can still take cabs and buy alcohol. (just one vice at a time.)

chris- coffee. he can have one cup decaf a day.

barret- smoking cigarettes.

mara- eating out. includes buying beverages, other than water.

and me? i'm giving up sugar. i am allowed one serving of fruit a day and that's it. after we made our pact, we all immediately regretted it. but being the stubborn people we are, none of us rescinded. yet. of course, we're not starting until tomorrow. we are each allowed my birthday to indulge in our addiction, so there's a "free" day in there. if any of us make it that long.

i'll keep you posted.