Sky Dandruff or Someone Must Punish My Sister

mara asked if i'm going to post every day. the implication here is that every day might be a bit much for her to read up on. even though i know this is really about how mara is stupid and can't read that many words in a day (and most of her reading is dedicated to reading things she wants on craigslist), naturally, i'm insulted. in order to punish her, i'm going to write seven times a day for the rest of my life. lucky for you, i'm going to israel in a few days, so i'll be dead soon enough!

i just noticed that it is snowing yet again. what's the deal with snow? isn't it enough that it's friggin cold? and gray? and that life is terrible? it has to snow, too?! annoying.

so, right now, eddie is here. i'm sure he is saying something, but i can't understand a damn word of it. if you haven't met eddie, he looks like this:



that thing in his hand is his phone. it's actually sewn to his palm so that he can talk into it at any given moment. also, he can log in to myspace, so that while he is talking to the people in the room with him, he can also see who is online and write them messages at the same time. also, he talks a lot, did i mention that? and he is crazy. and he has my belt, which makes me sad. i love my belt. it's made of coconut shells and is from haiti:


you may have noticed that those are earrings and not a belt. well, i couldn't find an image of a belt, and while i was searching on google, i came across the earrings. then i was reminded of the time i lost one of my coconut earrings. i was out with eddie, and i was dancing hardcore.

i'm a really great dancer. i do this flailing thing that is apparently super great because some australian guy came up to me once and said:

i just wanted to tell you, you are the best dancer i've ever seen.

true story, and i'm sure he wasn't just hitting on me. i'm THAT great of a dancer. i let him buy me a beer to show that i accepted his highest esteem. it was a nice gesture on my part.

anyway, i was out with eddie and i was dancing in my super-great way, and at some point in the night, i lost one of my coconut earrings (also procured in haiti). as soon as i realized it i made everyone in my general area stop dancing and help me look. we organized a search party, cellphones out so we could use the light. we held a vigil, but to no avail. my earring was gone. i cried myself to sleep for forty nights until i realized that it was time to move on.

and move on, i did.

and that's the story of how eddie is STILL HERE and STILL TALKING. you all thought i was chatty....