End of the Week or Is it Time to Go Yet?

i find many things perplexing about "corporate america". (i mean, really, there are only ten people in my department, and i'm at a non-profit, so i'm pretty sure that there are some ridiculous things i'm missing out on. but i digress.)

for instance, inter-office mailing up or down two flights of stairs. (of course, once i decided to carry the mail upstairs myself because i thought it so silly, and what happened? i then had to relay a message back to the person who wanted to interoffice mail in the first place. hence, i became a messenger boy.)


then there is the blaming bug that goes around whenever anything goes wrong (inevitably, the bug comes back to bite me or leah on the ass, even though often, neither of us are involved initially).


and recently, ira has started wearing a bow tie more often, which i find offensive on many levels.



but the most perplexing and annoying thing are the emails. i get so, so, SO many emails every day, and some of these emails go back and forth, when a two minute phone call would easily suffice.

let's look at a random day. yesterday because i haven't deleted all of those yet. so, i just counted and i received 83 emails yesterday. 83! and that's just to my personal inbox. (i also check three other mailboxes every day, although most of those just have a lot of advice on how i can cure my erectile dysfunction.)

this is absurd. i don't like emailing at work because it means that i don't want to email my friends and loved ones when i'm not at work. of course, i don't really do that. if i email people at all, it is from gmail, while i am sitting at my desk, wondering when they're going to fire me for doing personal things at work. tomorrow?

anyway, i think this email thing is a conspiracy to isolate every person from every other person in some sick experiment to see how long and to what diminutive quality of life we can live if we have only the minimum amount of human interaction. i'm going to research this.

if i find anything out, i'll email you the details.

Happy New Year's or Meh

so, i'm at work. people feel bad for me because i have to work on new year's eve. but honestly, what else am i going to do? laundry? unlikely! (actually, i really need to do laundry. if anyone who is off wants to break into my house and do it for me, that'd be swell....)


the nice thing about working on nye (see how hip i am with my abrevs?) is that there are very few people working. because everyone thinks i'm not here, i get fewer annoying phone calls, and the best part is that both of my bosses are gone, so i don't have to do any actual work. not that i do actual work on a daily basis, because i try to avoid it as much as possible. this would be easier if people weren't constantly asking me to do things.


for instance, i'm supposed to go upstairs to get something to ship, as well as downstairs to get supplies. i mean, we have an elevator, but i can't justify using it for the one and a half floor walk up, and i feel lazy not walking down the stairs. plus said elevator is small and scary. i feel like it's just waiting to kill me dead.

come to think of it, that might not be so bad. i mean, then i wouldn't have to do my work. not that i'm planning on doing work anyway, but meh.


speaking of meh, it was recently brought to my attention that i have a problem with monosyllabic definitive statements.

example:

person x: erin, i am having a personal life crisis and i need you to help me figure out the meaning of life so that i refrain from killing myself.

me: yeah.

person y: i think it's time you know, erin. i'm madly in love with you and i want to bear your children no matter how massive their heads might be.

me: bah.

person q: erin, do you think it's a good idea to invest in a magic 8 ball? i'm thinking it could help me when i'm trying to make important life decisions.

me: meh.

as you can see, i'm helpful. these one syllable words keep me coolly distant like this guy:

wait a minute. is this camel supposed to emulate a black man?? i think i'm offended. on the other hand, he is quite appealing to children, and therefore children will learn to think that black camel-men are cool and not scary, so that perhaps they won't grow up to cross the street upon seeing them or shooting them in the face in "self defense". on the other other hand, joe camel has been banned because he is appealing to children, thus trying to keep a black brotha down.

so, we've come full circle, and i'm offended. i could just remove the image and be done with it, but i think we all know i'm too lazy for that. maybe instead i'll sue the camel company. that'll be a shocker, no one is ever trying to sue the smoking industry.

speaking of smoking, i'm hungry. mayhaps i'll nibble on lunch 1. now.

meh.