Second Time Around or The Return of an Affair

debbie reminded me that i have been rude. i mean, can you blame me? i've been ensconced in a new romance, a secret endeavor that was exciting, forbidden, yet strangely comfortable....

i am just now resurfacing for some air. 

yes, it's true.

i bought some NEW BOOTS!

i know what you are thinking. how could i betray my old boots like that? how could i think that i can just "replace" them after so many months of servitude and promises to the old boots? why are there no cupcakes here? and other questions!

i know you're a bit distraught. but just listen (by which i mean read):

now, old boots and i had some great times, and i don't want to point fingers or lay blame, but they split at the seams! water was getting in, and i found that behavior a little passive-aggressive. i mean, if you don't want me to wear you anymore, you just have to tell me, boots.

they broke my heart. really, they did. i endorsed the shit out of those boots, and the callously left me, well, calloused and wet. it's awkward!

i would've just left it at that, resigned myself to living a soggy-socked existence till the end of days. i really would've, too, if shoemania hadn't had a 50% off sale on...

MY NEW BOOTS!

that's right, friends! shoemania, sensing my loss and unhappiness came through in the clutch. and that's how i got my new pair:

but i want you to know, i'm going to do it right this time. no more hollow promises NEW BOOTS! and i have an understanding. if they break, they will do so before 12 months are out or after 2 years, and i, in return, won't use them to kick unsuspecting children. i mean, not often, at least. 

as an added bonus for MY NEW BOOTS!, i have persuaded not one, not two, but three other people to buy the same kind (different colors, of course) so that my boots will not have to go it alone. i'm not going to be controlling this time. nay, i want MY NEW BOOTS! to experience the world with their little boot friends:

so go, little boots, go!

but be back in time for me to trudge home in you through the snow...