And the Winner is....Or Fake Good is Better than Real Good

so, okay, i really want to be a good person. i guess i should say, apparently, i want to be a good person. i sign up for volunteer projects. i rally people together to go to charity fundraisers. and i give the people i'm hanging out with multiple ways to get ahold of me when we're going to meet up (you know, just in case i'm a tad behind or something goes awry).

i should get an award, right?*

well, apparently, it is a mere façade, and i don't ACTUALLY want to be a good person. i just want to give the impression that i'm a good person. 

let's take a look at this week, for example. monday, i was signed up to go help old people play bingo. they can't necessarily hear that well, and my fingers are much more dextrous than theirs, so it just makes sense that i would be there to help them when the numbers are called, right? 

no, no, grandmother, let me help you with that, sort of thing:

it only happens twice a month, and i really make an effort to sign up. 

which is a real shame since i didn't even go on monday. i had kind of a headache, and i wasn't feeling great, and i had a long day, and i didn't need old people to remind me of eminent death.

 no, thanks! instead, i came home and watched who's that girl?

oh, madonna, you're such a good actress!

then today, i had invited becky to go to this fundraiser with me. she was to meet me at work at a designated time, and we would go from there. yeah, well, not only did i get out so late and not respond to any phone calls for so long that becky actually thought i ditched her (she probably

 started to do the sad charlie brown walk away thing that she does), but also ALSO we decided not to go. 

good grief, indeed, charlie brown. 

so, i guess i don't support haitian education after all. pity, really. i thought i believed in things. i guess i just believe in appearing as though i believe in things. 

but really, isn't that just as good, nay, better, even? think about it. 

*i actually did get an award for volunteering. back in aught aught. actually, it might've been '99, but i like saying aught, so we're going to round up: