My Ryder List or I Only Eat Green M&Ms

I had intended on guest blogging a fascinating expose today, examining the correlation between the rise of the sea level and the increase of reality television shows (I have some pretty powerful evidence supporting the theory that global warming is caused by Spencer and Heidi from The Hills). But upon arrival to blogger.com I was greeted by such an impressive welcome that instead I feel obligated to share my gratitude.

Erin, on behalf of your guest bloggers I would like to thank you. I thought the $5,000 research stipend and $15,000 appearance fee you've given each of us were gift enough. I'm even more grateful, though, that you managed to placate each and every one of my appearance requests. The plate of green M&Ms, silk bathrobe with "CAESAR" embroidered on the back, and collection of Tickle-Me Elmos in the greenroom were exactly what I wanted. The meth was of an exquisite quality (unless R.P. has found your blog, in which case I don't know what meth is and nobody should be curious enough to find out). When I requested a baby polar bear, I didn't think you'd have the wit or resources to get me one. But not only were you able to get one for me, but you cooked it to perfection.

Erin, you and your blogspot are a gift to us all, and I am honored to be a guest writer.