Cheeks or We Need to Talk

oh. it's you.

the thing is, we're sort of in a fight. yeah, i know, this is awkward. but i've got an issue with something you've done. actually, it's something you've kept from me.

you see, a relationship has to be based on trust. if we can't trust each other, then how can we grow as a unit?

here's an example for you. remember that time when you looked really stupid in that outfit? and i was like, you look SO AWFUL. take that off immediately and put something cooler on or i won't be seen with you in public.

that kind of thing only strenghtens our relationship. so, that's what makes this so uncomfortable. i mean, you really should have told me. what am i supposed to do about it now? huh?

what am i talking about? like you don't know....


okay, fine. play dumb. make me say it and humiliate myself all over again. what i'm TALKING about is this:

i have the fattest face i've ever seen, and you didn't tell me!

oh please. don't pretend like you don't see it. what, you need further evidence?

okay, you know what? we're fighting. and anyway, i have to go. i need to shove acorns in my cheeks and start saving up for next winter.