Truancy or How to Be Late to Work

i have never been much of a rebel. i mean, sure, i lie a lot (and i mean A LOT. i'm lying right now because i don't actually lie that much. what?), but that's not really rebellion. and sure, i skipped a lot of high school, but high school is lame, and, anyway, there were more fun places to be:

pictured: actual day of skipping class

plus, my parents usually knew that i was skipping. mainly because i told them and/or got truancy notices. but i'm not on trial here!

the point is, i never rebelled against my parents. i never had to assert my individuality by pretending i didn't know them. i didn't even drink in high school, so i didn't have to lie about my activities (even though i could've since i'm such a liar).



but lately, all i want to do is rebel. not against my parents (probably because they approve of everything i do, as long as i'm witty about it), but against life in general. i've been fantasizing today--between writing annoying emails for work--about what it would be like to rebel against my life. here are some things i've come up with (in list form for debbie and annie's benefit. they seem to enjoy lists):



1. going to work late. okay, this seems really tame, and, as you may have read in a previous posting, i can't actually BE late, even when i'm trying. at worst i'm a couple of minutes early. but still, it would be nice to saunter in at 9:15 AM and not even care. take THAT non-profit sector! (of course, leah and i were talking today about how half of our office doesn't show up until 9:30 or 10 AM. one co-worker sometimes gets in at 11 and just kind of non-chalantly walks around in her coat so that everyone can see how late she is. perhaps we should start a who will be the latest to work war....)



2. pushing moms intentionally (and if need be, their annoying children). i am SO TIRED of mothers lecturing me. they lecture me on the subway, over the phone, and in lines about things that aren't even my fault! listen, lady, i know it's not polite to push oneself onto a train. MOVE IN four steps and the people behind me will stop pushing me into your obnoxiously over-sized fur coat. i can see that you have a child, but he's sixteen now, i think he can manage to fend for himself.



3. waking up whenever i feel like it. nuff said.



4. having fun without spending a lot of money. i don't actually HAVE any money, so it's easy not to spend it. having fun, though, becomes difficult, since i need alcohol and/or darts to have a good time. or a dance floor. or spaghetti. yeah, i said it, spaghetti.



okay, i'm tired of this list. but just be aware, if i don't go into work on monday, it's because i'm rebelling against life...



not because i have the day off....