Spam or Karma Served Hot

i don't really believe that people gets what's coming to them. sometimes people are assholes, and they are just allowed to be assholes for the entirety of life. and seeing as how i don't believe in heaven or hell. unless you count going to a bar in topeka and running into everyone from high school as hell. and i sometimes do:



i don't really think that the world is balanced like that.

and yet.

i started getting TONS of spam to all of my email addresses. yes, all six of my emails have started bombarding me with the stuff. (i mean, i expect it of you, yahoo, but gmail? my beloved gmail?!?) my cup overfloweth with this crap, and i can't escape the offers to add a couple of inches to my unit, see paris hilton naked, or buy prescription drugs without a prescription. it attacks me from all sides:



secretly, i know why this is happening to me. as much as i have tried to poo-poo the idea of karma as ludicrous (due to the fact that life obviously isn't fair. i mean, matt leblanc had TWO tv shows AND starred in a movie with a monkey. what is THAT?), in recent days i have started to sing a different tune.

i have a confession to make.

my name is erin, and i am a spammer. (hi, erin.)

reluctant though i may be to do this, i do, in fact, send emails out to large groups of people who then email me back hateful responses about how they want to be off my list or they'll come after my children and loved ones. but i don't WANT to do this. and, to be fair, these people did give "me" their email addresses. and (because i'm obviously feeling guilty) i immediately remove people once they ask. and threaten me. three times. but i'm not on trial here!

maybe they are upset with me because i'm not giving them access to naked celebrity videos. maybe they can't read my quirky emails without downing handfuls of the prescription drugs that i haven't offered. at any rate, that bitch karma has certainly come back to flip me the bird.



maybe it's time to apologize and give something back to society for those little bits of sanity that i have stolen from people. or maybe instead, i'll just quit my job and go full time as a spammer.

anyone need any naked pictures of britney offering you drugs to elongate your wang? you know who to call....