Cat Scratch Fever or Jesus Sandals

well, i'm back from the motherland, so no more suffering through blogs from people who are less cool than me. i want to thank my guest bloggers, and by that i mean thanks for nothing! you people are too busy plugging your own blogs to get to what's important--me. those of you who did talk about me only talked about my evil qualities, which everyone knows only make up a third of who i am. what about the rest of me? so, to answer shifty-eye scher's request to rate your abilities, you all get a rating of kicked off my list of people who can post on my blog.

no, but really, you cracked me up, and i got a taste of what it's like to laugh at someone hilarious the way you all get to feel when you read my posts. what? that was a sentence.

so, as many of you know, today is a special day. no, i'm not talking about jesus day. because of him, i can't buy groceries. actually, let's think about jesus for a second. jesus is important. this is confirmed by a conversation i had on g-chat earlier today:

11:30 AM rtk: welcome back!

me: thanks

merry jesus day!

11:33 AM rtk: merry jesus day to you too

11:34 AM me: don't you know i'm jewish? yeesh

:)

11:37 AM rtk: the birth of jesus was no small matter for the jews

11:38 AM me: true enough. he gave us those trendy sandals

rtk: and the years of persecution

11:39 AM me: that's a footnote, really. it's the sandals that are important.

11:40 AM rtk: haha

so as we can all see:

plus


equals

but enough about jesus. today is special because i'm finally home from the motherland. i know you all missed me, and i can't say that i blame you. i'm great, and my absence caused a lot of tears.

on the down side, i came home to freddy vs. jason and olive. it turns out, they hate each other, and therefore, they hate me for introducing them. i was hoping that they would get along swimmingly, so that i could go about my business and ignore them. but no, they are constantly hissing at each other, and scratching and biting me for putting them together. so, i'm being punished. which should make a lot of you happy.

on the plus side, i'm on my way to becoming a cat lady:


and since i hate washing my hair, this works out nicely.

anyway, i'm already bored of myself, and there is futurama to watch as i cower on one end of the couch and pretend i'm invisible as to avoid the cats.

i'm so tired....